Compass Group's Megan Caulkett-Ridd on coming out

Hey! I'm Megan, I work at Compass Group UK&I, I'm a National Account Director in Restaurant Associates, and I've been working at Compass UK&I for 16 years! I'm also one of the Chairs for our LGBTQ+ network. My pronouns are she/her and I identify as a lesbian. 

Please, tell us your coming out story/stories. Have you had a good/bad experience because of your sexual orientation at home, university or at work? 

Now it's important for me to note that I came out when I was around 18 years old. That was quite some time ago now... Some of my coming out story obviously involves my partner at the time, so for obvious reasons I do not intend on revealing their name out of respect. Equally, I think it's important to highlight that this is my lived experience and my memory of the events around 'coming out'  

I'll fast forward to the day my parents found out, that I was indeed 'gay'. I had a very close friend, or so they thought, who I spent a lot of my time with. This relationship quickly flourished into what you call 'first love', and it was with a girl! Neither of us had ever identified as 'gay or lesbian' and were experiencing our 'first relationship' together. 

After several months, I pretended to think my parents didn’t know what was going on, with my 'friend'. Late one evening, my Mom and I were chatting, and she outwardly asked me if I was in a relationship, to which I denied. But after a bit of gentle probing, I buckled under all the self-inflicted pressure and disappointment I was secretly inflicting on my family and myself. After quite a lot of tears, pleading for forgiveness and genuine disarray, my Mom simply said 'how can I ever hate you for loving someone and them loving you in return'. Honestly, I think she was also happy that she could tell my dad- 'told you so'. :)

That set us both off… but it also triggered the realisation that I could no longer lie to myself, friends and family about who I was. My mom had to help me tell my close family, including my dad, as I was still crippled by fear of disappointment or rejection. Needless to say, that my although my family had questions, I was openly accepted for who I was. Little did I realise at the time how rare and lucky I was. So… Its not something you ever really say aloud, but I’m going to take the opportunity now to Thank my parents for always being there for me, no matter what. 

The second half of the story…

Then came the friends 'reveal'… for some months we both suspected that our friends figured something was going on. Being the age we were, it was no doubt that there was a bit of confusion about it all. After revealing to a close friend, I was surprised to find out that some of our friendship network had decided to meet at the local pub, to discuss what was going on between myself and partner at the time. After a bit of deliberation I chose to attend the 'meeting' and to their surprise I confronted and confessed what they all thought (including my disappointment that they felt it was such an interesting topic to meet at the pub to talk about it)

I remember at the time, how much anxiety I felt, not only was I revealing something I hadn't properly come to terms with to my family, but now felt I had to justify myself to my close friends. It all felt unnecessary. 

Without highlighting the immense pressure we felt we were under, the anxiety and disappointment we feared we might be, we chose to embrace it all (that's how it feels in hindsight). 

So… there you have it. My version of my 'coming out' story… a mix of love, joy and anxiety all bottled up in a few hundred words 🤘

How does your organization support and empower its LGBTQ+ employees?

Seems pretty rough, going from a coming out story to a corporate one, but the truth is, that experience (a few years later) made me realise that actually I had it pretty easy compared to others in the community. 

Whilst our LGBTQ+ network had been around for a while, it was accessible to only a few. I have been lucky to be part of that transition, under brilliant allies and leaders in the organisation and part of the community who have made our network more accessible, giving us a platform to talk  about more taboo subjects. And why is this important, I hear you ask? Well because of the 'open door' environment it's helped to push boundaries around LGBTQ+ topics, including updating policies and creating a platform for people to connect and share support. Nothing ever changed whilst being silent or being pushed to the back, so giving empowerment and a platform to speak freely is something that cant be underestimated! 

It has been proven that being out at work increases productivity. What other advantages do you see in coming out in the workplace? 

I mean it's obvious to some, but not many. Imagine going through your day/ week and always having to hide who you truly are, how lonely that must be, not being able to celebrate who you are and talk to people similar to you. Belonging at work and in your society reduces stress and the mental load you carry, it makes us all more accepting of each other and curious to learn more. Not only that, but there are people who you love right now, who may not be able to talk about their sexuality because they are afraid of the outcome. The more we talk the more we learn and make the space available for colleagues, friends and family to be themselves. Surely we all want to be happy? Well I believe we all deserve to be happy.

Growing up, who was your LGBTQ+ role model?

No need to waffle on here. The artist P!nk- she has long time been an advocate for not only being yourself, but for the LGBT community. She's badass and genuine and isn't ashamed of who she is!